she looked like the bat from fern gully.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You made out with two different species that night
It's blow job season.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
