so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
