Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
