That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
