At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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