And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
