Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize