I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
