You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
