i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You brought string cheese to the strip club
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
