he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
