im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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