we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dicks are not precious.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
