My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just high enough for therapy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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