just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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