i just google imaged poop.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
