I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You're like the curious george of whores
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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