You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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