I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
