Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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