Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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