just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I believe in your delicious
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
