Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Drunk is a universal language darling
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