i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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