We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
