idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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