lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
