I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
