8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
