so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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