I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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