we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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