.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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