either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
