it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
