he wants to bone in the snuggie
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
