covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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