I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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