Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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