he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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