There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
