lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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