the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
