Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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