Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
All I want is dick and wine.
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