I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
