What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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