508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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