I faked an abortion last night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
