hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this just has baby written all over it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
