My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
