I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
