I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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