just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When are your genitals available?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
