Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just googled if crying burns calories
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
