batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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