Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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