she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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