everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
