captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
