rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
