do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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