Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
