C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
