you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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