omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
