PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
