True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You are the jesus of drinking
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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