I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
