He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
