you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
